Loonatoona 1.8 Kim Wilde Chequered Love

To celebrate my second winner award (Transylvania Cinema Awards), as well as several other recent official selections and semi-finalist awards, I've made a new promo video, featuring Kim Wilde's Chequered Love.

2016 Transylvania Cinema Awards WINNER (Screenplay)

My screenplay Loonatoona is the WINNER of the Screenplay competition in the 2016 Transylvania Cinema Awards.

This is the second Romanian competition Loonatoona has won!

What is it with Romanians?!

2017 Chatham-Kent Film Festival Official Selection

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2017 Chatham-Kent FilmFestival.

2016 Best Film Awards Quarter-Finalist

My screenplay Loonatoona is a Quarter-Finalist in the 2016 Best Film Awards.

2017 Seal Beach Film Festival Semi-Finalist

My screenplay Loonatoona is a Semi-Finalist in the 2017 Seal Beach Film Festival.

2017 Atlanta Comedy Film Festival Official Selection

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2017 Atlanta Comedy Film Festival.

2017 Texas Cinemania International Film Festival Official Selection

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2017 Texas Cinemania International Film Festival.

Loonatoona 1.7 Pussyfoot The Way That You Do It

Loonatoona has recently added awards from Mountain Film Festival (Sir Edmund Hillary Award - Screenplay), TMFF - The Monthly Film Festival (Finalist), Sacramento International Film Festival (Semi-Finalist) and Milledgeville Film Festival (Official Selection).

To celebrate, here's a new promo video!

2017 Milledgeville Film Festival Official Selection

My screenplays Loonatoona and Mate For Life are Official Selections in the 2017 Milledgeville Film Festival.

Update: Now Semi-Finalists.

2017 Phoenix Film Festival Melbourne Official Selection

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2017 Phoenix Film Festival Melbourne

Feedback TMFF The Monthly Film Festival

I paid for feedback from TMFF The Monthly Film Festival for Loonatoona. Here it is: 


"turns it up to eleven"
"more bizarre than it should have been"
"the strange tone and bizarre story"
"highly intellectual without seeming so"
"incredibly original"
"unreal but hilarious elements"
"The script is creative"
"kind of confusing and definitely weird"



"Loonatoona – TMFF Feedback

Loonatoona is a slapstick comedy exploring the natural outlandish qualities Australia seems to have when viewed from the outside and turns it up to eleven by adding even more bizarre elements to build a general sense of surrealism that makes it easier to be open minded and receptive to the jokes in the script.

The story seems to take the concept too far and becomes more bizarre than it should have been, particularly since the more ridiculous the story gets the harder it is for it to deliver its message, which seems to be one of tolerance based on the fact that normality is nothing but a perception that can change from person to person and region to region, the script basically shows the daily struggles of the 5 members of a “regular” Australian family as they deal with problems that seem alien to us but normal to them, like the father working in a government subsidized rabbit costume dispensary, the mother having an affair with a possibly imaginary cowboy or their daughter nonchalantly engaging in a personal project that consists of taking pictures of her friend´s sexual escapades. The script has a serious flaw though; the comedic style is simplistic and more geared towards children or very young people, but the tone is undeniably adult, with swearing, nudity and adult situations abounding, which brings up the question: will the script manage to entertain its intended target? It remains to be seen but in general is not bad, only that perhaps the author should rethink the way in which the comedic payload is delivered.

It is quite hard to judge the characters since they are very strange and flawed but they seem to be so on purpose not only for comedic value but also as a way to drive home the general message of the story. They usually find themselves in surreal situations, often by their own hand, and deal with them in even more alien ways. They aren´t incredibly annoying or upsetting but it´s also impossible to build any rapport with them.

The dialogue is highly localized with many phrases being typical to the Australian speech and is also full of references to sayings, products, legends and other elements familiar to Australians but not for the general audience. Saying that is badly written would be an injustice, but it has to be mentioned that is highly alienating and can get difficult to understand for anyone not familiar with the “aussie” speech.

Producing a comedy like this one is a risky business given the strange tone and bizarre story the script is telling, and the fact that the humor is mainly based on exploiting the ridiculousness of the situations in which the characters find themselves, this is a typical slapstick comedy that still finds it possible to remain highly intellectual without seeming so. Thus having a lot of value hidden under the guise of a generic script, such a complicated outlook makes it hard to predict its actual commerciality.

The script is incredibly original even if some of the humor is highly referential and depends on the audience having knowledge about certain other movies and literary sources. Those references are tweaked enough to make them fairly unique and to adapt them into the script.

Through the lens of intergalactic observance and the inclusion of some unreal but hilarious elements the author shows what seems to be an outlandish family and the equally shocking country where they live, delivering a simple but effective message; normality is all but an illusion, morality is a social construct and the values that some may hold as essential may be optional for others. It is a message about understanding one another and realizing that simply because something feels strange doesn´t mean it´s bad.

The script is creative and the humor may be enough to elicit laughter out of many, but the overall plot is kind of confusing and definitely weird. It is one of those comedies where people need to turn their brains off and embrace the bizarre imagery in order to enjoy it."

2017 Mountain Film Festival: Winner

My screenplay Loonatoona is a 2017 Sir Edmund Hillary Award Winner in the screenplay competition in the Mountain Film Festival.

Finalist: TMFF The Monthly Film Festival

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the December/January Edition in the TMFF - The Monthly Film Festival

Update: Loonatoona is now a Finalist.

Sacramento International Film Festival Semi-Finalist

All four of my screenplays (Loonatoona, Mate For Life, Superpsycho, Another Day At The Circus) are Semi-Finalists in the Sacramento International Film Festival.

Loonatoona 1.6 Fox S-S-S-Single Bed

To celebrate the addition of Madhouse Movies and Top Indie Film Awards, I made a new promo video for Loonatoona.

Update: At the time I made this video, Boomtown Film and Music Festival had officially notified me, through Filmfreeway, that I was a semi-finalist.
Over a month later, they claim that was a "mistake" and Loonatoona was not accepted.

2017 Madhouse Movies Film Festival Official Selection

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2017 Madhouse Movies Film Festival.

Top Indie Film Awards: Nominee (Best Feature Script)

My screenplay Loonatoona is a Nominee (i.e. Finalist) for Best Feature Script in the 2016 Top Indie Film Awards.

Loonatoona 1.5 Respectable Mel & Kim

To celebrate the addition of Reel Authors Screenplay Contest (Semi-Finalist) and LS&B Comedy Writing Contest (Official Selection), here's a new promo video for Loonatoona, featuring Respectable by Mel & Kim.

This song should be recorded by Spiderbait for the film's closing credits!

Reel Authors Screenplay Contest: Semi-Finalist (Comedy/RomCom)

My screenplay Loonatoona is a Semi-Finalist (Comedy/RomCom) in the 2016 Reel Authors Screenplay Contest.

2016 LS&B Comedy Writing Contest Official Selection

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2016 LS&B Comedy Writing Contest.

Loonatoona 1.4 Hocus Pocus Focus

Loonatoona rides again

Superpsycho screenplay: fun, clever, rejected

Despite calling it "fun" (five times), "clever" (twice) and "so close from becoming a classic", the Fan Fiction Festival has not accepted Superpsycho. Go figure.

Here are their feedback notes.

"Hi Shockadelic

Thank you for your submission to the Writing Festival. Here is the feedback on your submission. The committee has noted that your story is not yet ready to be performed at our festival. If you like to resubmit, please email us back whenever you're ready and we'll have you submit for 30% off the regular submission.

Superpsycho is a fun crossover between the universe of Superman and that of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Martin Crane, a man on the lamb, checks in to a quiet motel but he is perturbed by the strange behaviour of its handsome proprietor Clark Kent. How will Martin cope when things start going bump in the night?

There is a lot of lighthearted fun in this script, poking fun at the original source materials in a clever way. I especially liked the twist on the voyeur scene in Psycho in which Norman Bates spies on Marion through a hole in the wall whereas Clark Kent uses his xray vision to spy on Martin in his room, sometimes unwillingly. The homoerotic, irreverent take on the original texts was clever and fun in tone.

The blood/red hair dye twist felt a bit obvious overall but the moment of Martin washing it off his hands was nice, even it did confuse the roles slightly. Since the plot follows Psycho, even using a lot of lines from the film, it would be better to stick to Martin as Marion and Clark as Norman, unless you are saying something specific by changing it. Perhaps Clark/Waldo could get the dye on his hands while spying on Martin in the shower?

On that moment, it felt like it lacked something. Obviously the shower scene is so iconic that it has to be used in a parody such as this but it felt like a repetition of the earlier voyeur moment of Clark spying on Martin. The underlying current of this short is sexual tension but while the shower scene is more intrusive than the xray vision, it’s still just voyeurism. Something more needs to happen in his interaction maybe Martin is horrified at first but then thinks what the hell and invites Clark/Waldo in? This could be a fun visual moment with the red hair dye staining the suit and the bath, etc.

There are a couple of small details in this short that may need changing; firstly I’m not sure an outline of a knife would be visible underneath Martin’s jeans. As it is a key set up for a pay off later in the film, perhaps Martin could actually visibly put it there or take it out to check it. Secondly, while I like the play on Marion to Martin Crane, all I could think about was Frasier, though Marty Crane doesn’t quite work as well, it may avoid this confusion. It might be worth asking a few other people if they had this issue before you make any changes.

This script is a lot of fun but it felt a little like a repetition of Psycho with not enough changed in order to keep an audience engaged. This is the start of a really fun take on a classic but it can be pushed further in almost every scene and particularly the ending in order to make it different and really capitalize on the humor. This script is so close from becoming a classic.

Please let us know your thoughts on your feedback. Always want to make sure that each writer is satisfied with their notes to ready them for their next draft."

Screenplay Finalist US Hollywood International Film Festival

My screenplay Loonatoona is now a Finalist in the 2016 US Hollywood International Film Festival (oddly, they have no laurel for this).

Headline International Film Festival Award of Merit

Loonatoona has won an Award of Merit in the 2016 Headline International Film Festival.

Winner: Best Written Screenplay 2016 StoneFair International Film Festival

Loonatoona was the Winner of Best Written Screenplay at the 2016 StoneFair International Film Festival.

Since I won, I figured I may as well pay the extra ten bucks and get their feedback. Here it is.


Concept 4.5/5
Storyline 3/5
Characters 4/5
Dialogue 4.5/5
Commerciality 2.5/5
Subject’s genuineness 5/5
Array of meanings for the script 4/5
Attractiveness for public 4/5


“StoneFair International Film Festival

Screenplay feedback

*note that each category uses a rating scale from 1 to 5, 1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest

Loonatoona
written by Shockadelic

*Concept: 4.5

‘Loonatoona’ is a truly crazy ride: on the surface, it might look like a completely nonsensical set of sketches, featuring bizarre characters. While it is certainly that and more, most of these scenes are carefully crafted, completely non-PC parodic representations of the monotony and absurdity of day to day life.

Storyline: 3

As said before, the plot is made out of mini sketches, featuring characters from an ordinary family in the Australian town of Loonatoona, and their interactions with others during a normal day of their lives. Ultimately, the entire story arch can be simplified to something like 'husband believes wife is cheating on him, while son does inappropriate things at school, and daughter spends time with friends instead of attending class', but matters are much more complex than at first sight. Every scene has its purpose and underlying theme which it parodies, and the often nonsensical mix of elements characterizing many of the scenes is purposely placed, rather than being simply random. Or, at least this is how it feels.

Characters: 4

Bobby, the family's youngest, attends the last school day before summer holiday kicks in. He doesn't exactly go around causing trouble, like Lambing, one of his classmates, does; however, he has a number of strange fetishes, as well as a constant urge to have sex with other boys. His big sister, Miranda, ditches school in favor of spending most of her time with her best friends, smoking weed and wandering around aimlessly in their truck. Bazza is the typical corporate man, working a 9 to 5 job: his day is ruined not by a customer coming to have his rabbit suit repaired whilst wearing it and nothing else, but by the constantly ramifying allegations that his wife is cheating with a cowboy. This is partly true, as Susan does get rather charmed by the aforementioned cowboy character while on her shopping run, with whom she goes for a swim, alongside Rex, her pet koala. The four main characters, as well as the extensive set of supporting ones, are over-the-top, engage in strange actions and conversations, which might not seem that dubious on second thought- once one realizes just how stereotypical their representations are (in a good way), everything might not seem as chaotically impossible as it first looked.

Dialogue: 4.5

The dialogues are a big success of the screenplay. Besides the fact that most of the lines and conversations are incredibly funny, a lot of them inappropriately so, with frequent puns and references to pop culture, there is a heavy dose of irony in the manner in which they are delivered. Even though the film deals with themes such as underage gay oral sex at school, or the principal who locks himself in his office to masturbate in peace for hours in the wake of a huge hard-on he got whilst spanking a 17-year-old boy for calling him “a wanker”, all swear words without exception are censored by loud ambient noises. Moreover, when the content of some characters' dialogue is anticipated, repeated or simply meaningless, the film uses variations on 'yabba yabba' to suggest this.

Commerciality: 2.5

The commercial appeal of ‘Loonatoona’ is a debatable subject. First of all, the rather chaotic, absurd nature of most of the events, as well as the extreme sexualization of most of the scenes (although no bad language or explicit content is actually shown) might be off-putting for some. Secondly, quite a number of the film's jokes, puns or visual representations are of Australian social matters, firms or other particularities, which means that an international audience might at times be left guessing when faced with a very context-specific moment.

Subject’s genuineness: 5

Despite being ultimately a parody of daily life in a small Australian town, the screenplay manages to feel extremely fresh and novel in its approach. Everything from the way the characters are built and developed, the inappropriate, politically incorrect scenes, as well as a few gimmicks utilized (such as sound effects/music from popular productions such as Hitchcock's ‘Psycho’, ‘The Twilight Zone’ or ‘Doctor Who’, or the 'telepathic' manner in which some of the characters placed in entirely different scenes communicate with each other in real time) is very genuine and gives the whole project a special atmosphere which sets it completely apart.

Array of meanings for the script: 4

Some of the elements of the script do indeed feel purposely random, such as people eating cereal with tomato juice, meat pies with whipped cream on top, or having a pet koala, many scenes have actual substance. ‘Loonatoona’ often parodies otherwise banal, cliché events such as birthdays (called “unbirthdays”), taking the perfect family photo, or the group of men hungrily gazing at the hot office girl- and does all these in an intelligent way. The gossip society, whose leader, Mrs. Grimsteynes has 781 voice messages on her phone at one point, perfectly encapsulates a widespread reality. Instead of singing the national anthem ‘God Save the Queen’ at school, a song by Abba is played instead, which at least contains the name of the country, as opposed to the former. The TV show which Bobby is watching at one point makes fun of typical stereotypes in the film industry, namely how the antagonist, after having captured the hero, takes a long time to articulate his goals and makes a condescending speech, often giving the hero the time needed to retort and thwart his plans. All of these and many more are scenes oozing with delicious underlying contexts, serving as a criticism of today's society and culture. As an entirely subjective matter, it's a shame that the author didn't also have a poke at religion.

Attractiveness for public: 4

Making sense out of this project is a difficult task, as it might seem very content-rich and enjoyable for some, while others might see it as complete nonsense. A sort of combination between an early Coen brothers work (such as ‘Raising Arizona’) and a Lynchian ‘Twin Peaks’, but at the other end of the spectrum, mixed in with a specifically Australian flavor, is a good way to describe this project, or at least parts of it. As for a videogame comparison, one could say that ‘Loonatoona’ is the Australian equivalent of the ‘Postal’ series. Depending on the open-mindedness of the audience, it should be a “love it or hate it” affair.”

Best Screenplay award winner StoneFair International Film Festival.

Loonatoona was the Winner of Best Written Screenplay at the 2016 StoneFair International Film Festival.

Since I won, I figured I may as well pay the extra ten bucks and get their feedback. Here are the highlights.

Concept 4.5/5

Storyline 3/5

Characters 4/5 

Dialogue 4.5/5

Commerciality 2.5/5

Subject’s genuineness 5/5

Array of meanings for the script 4/5

Attractiveness for public 4/5

“a truly crazy ride”

“carefully crafted”

“completely non-PC”

“much more complex than at first sight”

“Every scene has its purpose”

“the often nonsensical mix of elements... is purposely placed”

“characters... are over-the-top”

"everything might not seem as chaotically impossible as it first looked"

“The dialogues are a big success of the screenplay”

“incredibly funny”

“The commercial appeal... is a debatable subject”

“the rather chaotic, absurd nature”

“the extreme sexualization... (although no... explicit content is actually shown) might be off-putting”

“Australian [jokes]... an international audience might at times be left guessing”

“extremely fresh and novel”
“Everything... is very genuine”

“a special atmosphere which sets it completely apart”

“parodies... in an intelligent way”

“oozing with delicious underlying contexts”

“very content-rich and enjoyable”
“others might see it as complete nonsense”

“A sort of combination between an early Coen brothers work... and a Lynchian ‘Twin Peaks’... mixed in with a specifically Australian flavor”

“a 'love it or hate it' affair”

Loonatoona 1.3, Michael Zager Band

Loonatoona walks among us.

Official Selection: 2016 US Hollywood International Film Festival

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2016 US Hollywood International Film Festival.

Update: Loonatoona is now a Finalist (oddly, they have no laurel for this).

Loonatoona. Free Cozy Powell inside!

Loonatoona: Lord of Lunacy.

Official Selection: 2016 Auckland International Film Festival:

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2016 Auckland International Film Festival.

Award-winning comedy screenplay winner

Loonatoona is an award-winning surreal comedy screenplay by Australian writer Shockadelic.

Winner:

StoneFair International Film Festival

Semi-Finalist:

Comedy Film & Screenplay Festival

Los Angeles CineFest

Official Selection:
Auckland International Film Festival

Chandler International Film Festival

Headline International Film Festival

Hollywood Boulevard Film Festival

Lake Charles Film & Music Festival

Neu World International Film Festival

Oaxaca FilmFest

Wayfarer Film Festival

Winner: Best Screenplay 2016 StoneFair International Film Festival

My screenplay Loonatoona is the WINNER of Best Written Screenplay at the 2016 StoneFair International Film Festival!

Official Selection: 2016 Hollywood Boulevard Film Festival

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2016 Hollywood Boulevard Film Festival.

Official Selection: 2016 Chandler International Film Festival

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2016 Chandler International Film Festival

September 2016 Winner: Best Scene Script Reading from LOONATOONA by Shockadelic

My first script reading for Loonatoona!

https://festivalforcomedy.com/2016/09/21/sept-2016-winner-best-scene-script-reading-from-loonatoona-by-shockadelic/

Best scene script reading comedy winner

My first script reading for Loonatoona!

Of course, they used American accents.

Official Selection: 2016 Lake Charles Film & Music Festival.

My screenplay Loonatoona is an Official Selection in the 2016 Lake Charles Film & Music Festival.

Semi-Finalist: 2016 Los Angeles CineFest

My screenplay Loonatoona is a Semi-Finalist in the 2016 Los Angeles CineFest.

Official Selection: 2016 Oaxaca FilmFest

My screenplay Loonatoona has been accepted as an Official Selection in the 2016 Oaxaca FilmFest (Global Script Challenge - Comedy).
https://www.oaxacafilmfest.com/p/loonatoona

26 to 1 against and falling!

FEEDBACK: Slamdance Screenwriting Competition 2016

"wickedly psychedelic"
"Marx-Brothers-on-LSD"

Here is Slamdance Screenwriting Competition's brief feedback (provided for all Slamdance entrants):

"FEEDBACK: Slamdance Screenwriting Competition 2016 - Feedback
Below is your feedback for the 2016 Slamdance Screenplay Competition. Every entrant receives a few lines of feedback from the first reader to review the work. The feedback includes a logline, genre suggestion and brief feedback to the writer. For more extensive feedback, please consider our coverage service, available for an additional fee. This feedback is not an indication of how well your script is doing in our competition. We will not make those decisions until we prepare to announce our finalists in September/October, 2016. No response is needed to this feedback. 

TITLE OF SCREENPLAY: Loonatoona
GENRE: Comedy
LOGLINE: A typical day in the life of a most atypical family.

SHORT FEEDBACK: You clearly demonstrate a wickedly psychedelic imagination and a nice Marx-Brothers-on-LSD aesthetic that works-to a point. The problem with your gags is that you cannot rely upon them to carry a feature film. Ultimately, the reader still wants you to get around to telling a compelling story. In this script, you make things even harder by shifting between four narrative threads (Susan, Bazza, Miranda, Bobby) so that the viewer no sooner gets comfortable with one story than you take him or her to the next. Also, this script might be a hard sell on the international film market, which (unfairly) tends to discourage thick Australian slang and dialogue."